How often do you hear yourself saying, “I’m so disappointed in myself”? As a health coach, I hear this all the time from clients—and I’ve said it myself more times than I care to admit. It doesn’t matter what the specific situation is. Maybe it’s a career decision that didn’t work out, a missed opportunity, falling off a weight loss program, or even regaining some of the weight you worked so hard to lose.

I’ve been there. I’ve beaten myself up for things I did (or didn’t do). But here’s what I’ve realized: self-criticism doesn’t help us move forward. In fact, it often does the opposite. The constant scolding and guilt trips we subject ourselves to create a bigger barrier between us and our goals.

The Problem with Negative Self-Talk

Why does this happen? Because the more we tell ourselves we’re “bad,” that we’ve “failed,” or even that we’re “stupid,” the more those words stick. Over time, we start to believe those harsh statements, and they become part of the narrative we tell ourselves. I talk more about this in my book “Pillars of Ascension”, Tools to Attain Your Best Self Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically.

Here’s a reality check for all of us (myself included): we are human. That means we’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to have moments where our choices don’t align with our highest good. And yet, we’re far more forgiving of others than we are of ourselves. Isn’t that wild?

The Pressure to Be Perfect

We often expect ourselves to be perfect. We pile on the pressure to get it all done—and get it done flawlessly—without asking for help. And for many women, there’s an additional layer: we’re so busy giving to everyone around us that we have nothing left for ourselves. What’s left? The self-criticism and exhaustion that come from trying to pour from an empty cup.

Drawing a Line in the Sand

Let’s change that. Right here, right now, let’s draw a line in the sand and declare: no more.

The next time you fall short of your goals or expectations, start with forgiveness. Forgive yourself for being human. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. This simple act of compassion can shift your mindset and set the stage for something transformative: curiosity.

The Power of Curiosity

When we forgive ourselves, we create space to ask important questions:

• Why did I make that choice?
• What was I feeling before or during that moment?
• What pressures have I been under—or placed on myself?
• Is there a pattern here?

These questions allow us to dig deeper and uncover the root of our behaviors. Instead of staying stuck in guilt or shame, we can learn, grow, and move forward. And isn’t that what progress is all about?

Progress, Not Perfection

At its core, health and wellness aren’t about achieving perfection. They’re about progress—small, consistent steps toward a healthier, happier you.

If you’re ready to let go of self-criticism and embrace curiosity and growth, I’m here to support you. Let’s explore what’s holding you back and how you can move toward your goals with kindness and intention. Schedule your free consultation here. Let’s take this journey together.